Snippets From My Week

 

Alright, First things First, I don't know how days are passing by so fast, so some of these events may have happened a day or two further or later, It's all blurry.  Is this my way of finally getting around to writing a weekly Journal? I'm not sure. 

Anyway, let's establish some facts about my life.

1) My timetable is never never ever the same, It changes weekly and sometimes even day to day, so it's very difficult to point out a consistent pattern, which sometimes adds to the stress

2) That being said, sometimes this really tends to get on my nerves because I tend to schedule the other things based on a few things.

3) This week has been hectic and has left me with Bare minimum energy to even move, Thanks to College Scheduling exams earlier than expected, having a big Fest on the side, coping up with the course syllabus AND my Dance Performance and no, it gets worse, Work (Although, this has been the least stressful) but the amalgamation of these in a day can be A LOT.

4) I've been looking for days to just Stop, Rest and Refuel and I make sure to get them on a weekly basis.

Disclaimer: these are only snippets from my entire day, so yes, all my days are not so merry. I've tried to look at at least one thing that made me happy on that particular day, so this is a documentation of those things

Alright Let's dive in.

17th October, 2021 : This was the day I was feeling a little under the weather, just weekly Physical Exhaustion and Mental Fatigue. My Aaji (Grandma) asked me If I would accompany her to the Library, My first thought was " What would I do in a library full of Marathi books?" because I've never put in the effort to actually read one of them. Anyway, for the sake of fresh air, I decided to go and I found myself feeling completely differently. 

I wandered around in the empty library and somehow felt ALIVE. The Books The Silence and the whole place just had a vibe of "Come, Sit & Feel at peace and Home". I was on the lookout for a book and ultimately found it and read ONE page, okay, it takes time to read Marathi, If I'm being honest I am fluent speaking it but not reading it, but I gave it a shot.

That is when I had  a few Epiphanies,

1) There were a few photographs of Great Writers who weren't familiar to me by their work but their names, because i have heard them growing up and it sort of all seemed to connect then and then IT HIT ME, *BELONGING* to one's roots is very Important. 

Living In Hyderabad, I haven't ever had many friends speak in Marathi but my dance Centre ( A Institution run my Marathi Minorities, Coincidentally) was where I sought it. even speaking a few lines with someone other than Family made me feel so so at home, if I may say.

2) I realized how much the Concept of Belonging meant to me and I'm still figuring it out, one thing at a time although Books is a Great Start.

3) Many people even close to me are not aware of the fact that I enjoy listening to Semi Classical Music and "Natya Sangeet" or Musical Plays or Plays with Music and that somehow makes me feel connected to my roots. growing up, My dad and Aaba( Grandpa) listening to this on their music systems and that somehow never intrigued me but lately, I've been inclined toward listening  to this sort of music and Ghazals even. There is SO MUCH Art, Creativity and Beauty in our Own Culture that we often times oversee or neglect sub consciously but once you're in, it is a deep sea waiting to be explored.

"Culture has a way of Connecting People"

4) I've forgotten the what Libraries felt like because I haven't been in one in ages and it's disheartening to see the concept of Libraries fade away in the cities. I've looked up a few Book Clubs to satisfy my inner Bibliophile and an insatiable thirst to feed my intellect by learning more about people's take on books because Perspective is everything. This made me think of a quote, I read in a Book 

*Insert*

"Everything we see is Perspective, not the Truth"

20th October,2021: Okay, let me Confess this, I am not the biggest fan of my College. Sure, It wasn't my first Choice but truly, it has worked out quite well for me, if I may say so. But in all this, and not having gone to the College for almost two years, It has somehow made me underestimate or overlook  the Sublimity of it all. The Campus Fests, Just Lazing Around and Above All, Just Feeling like a student because in Reality, I've felt anything but that.

21st October,2021: I Chopped my Hair. I had been set of avoiding this for a while I and I finally understood the underlying reason: I was Attached to it. I know it sounds Abysmal, but I also read this somewhere

"We attribute so much of our Self Worth to our Physical Appearance, it's Absurd"

I was clinging onto it, because I attributed it as a part of myself and was not ready to let go, because it Added to my "Beauty" and that added to my "Self Worth" and I'm Slowly trying to understanding and unlearn these concepts.

22nd October, 2021: As mentioned in my pointers, Our College had a three day fest "YuvaFlare" and this day, I attended college and was on stage for an event. When I was on stage, I felt so at ease and Comfortable and dare I say, Enjoyed it and realized that this confidence I've built has taken time and now I feel home on Stage and I LOVED that feeling of realization of my progress so far and reveled in it

22nd October,2021 (Afternoon); After our Event, My friend and I decided to go to someplace and just have fun, and  we ended up at a Cozy, Snug Café hidden away in a tiny lane and we Dressed up, Just to sort of Energize our Vibe. We just sat there, took a few Pictures, and TALKED about everything and it sort of  was cathartic, with my mind constantly crunching anxious thoughts at the rate of crazy number per minute.

23rd October, 2021: From the Drive home from Running Errands, I stopped to fill Gas in my vehicle and YES, I SAID IT, I put my mask down and indulged in one of my weird fetish , THE SMELL OF PETROL. yes, I devoured it. Yes, i know it's weird and Yes, you're right, I don't care.

and now here I am writing this and after which, I plan on not getting out of my bed.

* releveling sigh*