20 things I've learnt before turning 20
20? It's a start I know. I was pensive about the title at first but then, I guess I plunged into this whole "adulting" thing pretty soon, and it has taught me a few things, over time.
But one thing I've realized is that you don't necessarily feel "19" or "20" you're just one day older than your last mistake and one day younger than your next. So I've just become immune to this whole stress of my teen years ending and me entering the "real" world. There's this Chinese concept- Wu-Wei; I came across this when I was reading an article and it essentially is about embracing the flow or process of life rather than just forcing a desirable result, and I thought it might be something that I can practice my mind into believing, it's way harder than it seems but, we're trying one day at a time in 2022.
So I'm wu-wei (ing) my way into 2022
Alright, now onto my list
1) An year can change a lot- I think this was one of the first things I wrote down because honestly, I couldn't have even minutely predicted of things I do, I'd experience, I'd feel and I'd change an year ago. An year ago, I was desperately waiting for the ennui to pass and almost succumbing to it, crunching words onto a laptop which not even in the minutest way sparked joy and I knew it. But one day, I called it quits( it was not so dramatic and sad, but you get the point, I wasn't happy with what I was doing anymore) and joined another place, and great things happened, I worked on a project that made me happy and learnt so so much along the way. My point being, don't over plan, let there be space for spontaneity.
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| A friend sent me this |
2) Quality > Quantity of friends - I think this is over said now, especially on social media but I have first hand experienced it on some level. I entered my freshmen year, hoping I'd make a large group of friends and I did, but it eventually didn't work out. But along the way, I've picked up my people and I've never yearned for any more. Many people would almost debate me on this, but I'd rather have a handful of people extremely close to me than being part of one or many big groups.
3) Jump to every opportunity that comes your way- I cannot tell you the number of times an opportunity has led me to another or has helped me meet such memorable people and memories. You never know what's on the other side of the door if you don't open it, take the risk, make yourself uncomfortable and eventually, you'll find your place.
4) Don't overcompensate- This is interconnected to the last point, because i jumped into everything my day was so packed that I'd end up just coming home excruciatingly tired- mentally mostly and sometimes, physically. It took me a long time to understand why I made these choices, because, I felt like a talentless loser in highschool and now I was trying to overcompensate. My point here being, take every opportunity that comes your way, but make sure it doesn't come from an ulterior motive (mine being trying to prove to myself and others that I was not talentless) and mind you, this point does not restrict itself to opportunities.
8) It's okay to not give your 100% everyday- I've said this before, I'll say it again. It's okay, That is the difference between the good and not so good days. I don't say this in a lazy sense, but in a way that you do not need to plaster that fake energy if you don't feel that way (unless you have to, let's be realistic, some situations can't be helped) but sometimes, it's okay to wear that frown and not turn it upside down.
9) Evolve, but stick to what you believe in- Humans evolve on a day to day basis and it's okay to change your thoughts, perspective but it's not to be so taken away by something that you sub-consciously know isn't you, when you have that gut feeling, it's your mind telling that this does not align with what you believe in, so stand your ground or in some cases, don't engage but stay true to what you believe in, it may be tough sometimes, but ultimately, your thoughts make you.
10) Put that phone away, as much as you can- It's so easy to get carried away by watching someone else's reels or pictures or whatever one sided happy crap they're posting but Real life is happening out there, be there to witness it, participate and feel it. That edited, spurious life can wait.
11) Create/ Make Art- even if you're bad at it and I know it sounds filmy but, it helps, while there may be other not so pleasant things waiting to consume your time, art helps, and I mean art in the most vaguest sense ever.
12) Believe in yourself- There may be days when it might be tough to, especially when people around you may make it a tad bit difficult. Remember who you are.
13) Give- It's important to know that there is a much bigger world than you, in the sense that being aware of your privilege is important and so is giving back to the universe from time to time.
14) Accept your mistakes or when you're wrong- It doesn't make you small, it makes you human.
15) Save, Invest, Keep track of your finances- Saving whatever amount you off your internships, gigs, events. Saving a portion of it or invest it is the way to go! maybe not for a rainy day, but for a vacation you've been eyeing.
16) Initiate the conversation- This is one thing I've always practiced and almost never regretted. You could make new friends or at least learn something new!
17) It's okay to not know something, most people your age know- It has happened so many times that I haven't known a few slang words or something that has been trending, but it's okay, I mean as long as it doesn't bother you, don't make other people make you get all worked up about it. And it doesn't only limit to this, getting a license, getting a job, I mean comes at it's own time for everyone, the pace isn't the same, so it doesn't make sense to compare yourself to others.
18) Keep a book handy- I cannot tell you the number of times, I've noted something interesting, told myself I'd go home and write but forgot most of what I've wanted to write, although phones are handy, they just aren't the best replacement for me. So I've made it a point top get a small handy book and carry it everywhere I go.
19) Don't take your relationships for granted- I'm not someone who is great at keeping up with my friends or people around me, sometimes that could mean that I could take them for granted, which is something I'm working on, from time to time, just to check up on people, reply on time and just overall, build a strong(er) relationship with people.
20) Learn to just be- It is said that the most difficult task humans face today is to just stay still, we as, humans, face "Productivity Shame" meaning that every hour that we're unaccounted for, results in us feeling guilty or shameful or not being productive. We've all felt this but lately, I'm almost forcing myself to be, whatever needs to be done, will be done, eventually. The other day, when I was sitting on my grandmother's terrace, after the kite flying festivities, my dad asked "okay, should we leave?" and I just said "Let's just sit a while" and that's when I consciously realized how we're always running to the next thing and we often forget to just be, I've just started to do this, it's a long way, but it's something I want to inculcate thoroughly to a point where it is not so forced.
I heard this podcast the other night, about "how to do nothing" where Jenny Odell talks about "how to do nothing" . For someone trying to get into this habit, this podcast helped me understand it better
Link: https://open.spotify.com/how to do nothing
That's for my list.
Here's to my roaring twenties!
