Summing up 2021: Good, Bad & The Ugly + Surprises

 

2021 was difficult. Well, I guess it was difficult for most people in different aspects. Mine was a roller coaster ride if anything. In the animated movie, Inside Out, there's different aspects of Riley's life shown in the form of cartoonist play areas- like Family, Career, Friends and Fun. well. If I were to consider this model of theory to measure this year's success, it would be  a solid 8/10. But it doesn't feel like it, because the whole family aspect kind of fell apart, when I lost my loved one this year.

I plunged into "moving on" and getting on with life and did pretty well at it, might I add, it's just feels like something is amiss, something tangible I can't point my finger to, and that's loss, and I have now realized that it's inevitable, inescapable and above all, a part of life. 

Personal Note aside, Let's start with the year end review, I looked up some prompts, and I will dive into each one of them, let's go:

•   What is the most important lesson you learned this year?

I think probably, to be okay with not having everything under control, to not have everything noted in my to-do list, to just try to be more in the flow, at ease and not exhaustingly organized.

• What new habits did you start?

To try to eat at least one fruit per day, to be more calm and not panic when things happen out of plan and think less and just go with it.

• How did you fail?

I think to keep up with my planner, I didn't use it much towards the end, when I really needed it. Obviously, a couple important things skipped my head.

• What was the best decision you took?

I think, to switch jobs, the switch really helped me grow, get a kick of what it felt like developing something and implementing it, it turned out great.

• What was a new discovery you made this year? What did you discover that you loved 

A couple different things, Firstly my love for podcasts, I never took myself for a podcast listener, but now, I can't get to bed without one. secondly, I think my love for classical and old music. I've grown up listening to a lot of classical, Hindustani and Sufi music but only recently, have I been able to explore it and the deeper I delved, the more I've appreciated and gotten a liking towards it.

• What did you face head-on this year rather than avoiding, such as you dealt with credit card debt or a difficult conversation?

Alright so I think Failure, I know it seems vague, ambiguous and even pompous but the thing about failure is, if you don't face it often, you tend to forget what it feels like and this year, I had a fair share of wins, which almost made me forget what failure felt like, until it didn't. But this time, I felt it, I sat with it, explored it, emoted whether it was in terms of angst, crying but I'm glad I didn't run away from it.

• What energized you? what drained you?

This is an interesting one GREAT FOOD, conversations with friends and books energized me, but on the other hand, I'm someone who thrives off in a crowd, but at the same time, they drain me too, it's a paradox, I'm still trying to understand but yes, sometimes people, long commutes after  a LONG day, continues never ending long, energy consuming days in a row without a break.

• What simple pleasures have you especially enjoyed this year?

Stare blankly into an open night sky, to just observe people in the metro, enjoying commuting to someplace, and just enjoying doing nothing (THIS IS WAY TOUGHER THAN IT SEEMS)

• What are the three things that I learnt this year?

1. ALWAYS carry a handy planner
2.  Own a pair of comfortable heels
3. It is okay to be okay with not giving your 100% EVERYDAY. 

• An advice I wish someone had given me, that I learnt the hard way

This one's easy. *insert*

SURPRISE(S)

• A couple people asked me where I had gotten my desk calendar from, it was a template I had printed out off the net, but thus year, I went ahead and made custom desk calendars for myself and I thought I'd share them here, if y'all are interested, they're ready to print, THANK ME LATER

side note: I made two templates for February, because not everyone's birthday is in February so *wink wink*

Download here

• I also went ahead and made an  year end review questions by compiling all fun & relevant questions, incase you want to attempt doing it

Download Here

• Lastly, there was a self reflection piece I'd written for a college competition thought I'd share it here, read ahead if you're interested.

Fight or Flight

I've always always been a person who takes time to look back and reflect on the year that has passed, or will soon end but this year I almost decided not to.

This year, I lost a piece of my heart. Someone close to me. After which, I felt as lost as a sailor sailing a ship on a windy day, with winds blowing fast, my life kept throwing stuff at me, almost as if forcing me to move forward.  But what if I didn't want to? Because if my world were a puzzle,  it had just lost a prominent piece.

The more I resisted "moving on" the stronger the wind became, pushing me to face it, and while initially I was forced towards it, somewhere along the way, I learned to face it headstrong, whether it was just trying to move on from grief, loss and other inexplicable feelings to trying to find happiness to despite his absence.

I've learnt to get comfortable with expressing grief, to cry (even in public) and more so, to just be and not try to overcome that feeling as soon as it emerges. I think one of the quotes that explains what I've learnt and still learning to do is this " If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached,  But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your heard even, you experience them fully and completely and you can finally let go"

I think I'm still working on that. But I'm proud to say, that I'm no longer a lost sailor trying to fight and find my way through, but I'm a strong motivated sailor who is confident that she'll make it through. And afterall, isn't a windy or rainy day a promise for a next sunny day?

2022 I'm ready for you.