Things Nooone Tells You About Grief

For a while now, I've been trying to look for comfort in words. When I experienced loss, the kind of loss that shook my body away (literally) mentally and physically, I took my time to heal and more usually than not, I gravitated towards reading. Reading about someone facing familiar emotions and feelings kept me sane. I hope that this post helps you find comfort if you've ever experienced loss or are still trying to mend your heart.  

There's a scar on my left leg and it has been that way for a while, something which I had developed recently due to let's say, carelessness. Everyday I took my time examining it, I realized  it changed colors but never turned better. I eventually stopped caring. But my loved one(who I lost, recently) made it a point to ask me how bad the scar was, everyday. After a while, when I started caring again, I looked over the scar, it got better. 

I think grief is a lot like that,  it changes colors, takes it's time to heal  but eventually it gets better. 

Everyday is a new progress. Remember that. 

1) grieving about something \someone isn't constant:

Most people including me thought that once someone grieves, after a while

things go back to the way they were. The truth is, they dobecause YOU have to move on because life is moving on. 

But every time you see something that reminds you of the person, something hurts inside, 

it's inexplicable, like the kind of pain  that makes you feel like you're right back where you started.

But, it's a part of healing. 

2) you have to feel, in order to heal:

For the most part, I took my time dealing with grief.

But after, I felt like I needed to be stronger in order to get over and just became emotionally numb

when it came to even thinking of the loss. 

Unsurprisingly, all my repressed feelings came out on a random Thursday when I was surrounded by

my friends when we were talking about something completely unrelated. 

3) IT IS OKAY FOR YOU TO TRY TO MOVE ON:

I remember asking my friends numerous times, if it was okay that I move back to routine,

continue as usual but what if it seems as though the loss I've suffered seems miniscule because

of the nonchalance I'm displaying?

The truth is, it's your brain's way of coping up with a traumatic situation. 

So, let it. DO WHATEVER YOU FEEL LIKE. Whether it's getting ice cream at 3AM or screaming into

towels while washing your face at the same time. NOTHING IS CONSIDERED UNACCEPTABLE .

4) The emptiness doesn't last forever:

The worst feeling to ever have is not feeling anything. Maybe it's worse than Grief.

And this emptiness eats away at you when you're supposed to be happy, enjoy because  technically,

all is well. the people around you seem so effortlessly happy. 

But you try, you try, so hard. IT IS A TINY STEP. 

All I can say for now is, it won't last forever.

5) Every memory now has it's significance:

One of the consequences of experiencing loss is the human brain replays every scenario in

excruciating detail over a hundred times. That's your brain's way of fighting the battle. 

But guess what? Maybe that's the good part, now you recollect all the memories that you otherwise

wouldn't have remembered and you cherish it. 

If you're anything like me, you try to express it to loved ones, but for the most part fail, and write,

well, that's going to take a long time. But I'll get there, eventually. For now, the memories are safely

tucked away in my head.