21 truths about turning 21

I recently turned "21" and all the pressure about being in your 20s like graduating, figuring out where you're headed, and adulting  in the real sense begins can be overwhelming.

So I did what I do best, I wrote down what it is like being 21. (Yes, this might be the most relatable thing you've read online today.)

1) You won't feel "21"

One of the biggest realizations I had that you won't ever feel your age. Ask someone who is 40, mentally they still feel like 30 or ask someone who is 16, they won't feel their age. My point being, everyone is trying to grapple how time is passing by so quickly and the idea of achieving your goals by a certain age has just left everyone feeling overwhelmed and an anxious vessel. If everyone is sailing in the same boat why not just look around the beauty and take in the funny, scary, happy and sublime experiences that life has to offer?

From the iconic movie- Dil Chahta Hai
Roughly translates to “The more you try to hold sand with your hand, the more it’ll slips through your fingers.” // you can’t try to control everything too much, you can’t firmly grasp that sand, or that sand’s just going to slip through your fingers. But amazing things can happen if you just let go a little"

2) Your friend circle will likely get smaller

This might not happen drastically but either you'll drift away from people you thought you were close or it will just come to a natural ending. The idea of who you'd spend your time will be crystallized and you will realize that quality is definitely better than quantity.

3) You will lose the people you love

Although I hope you don't, you will lose the people you love, either they won't be in your life anymore or you'll experience the most gut wrenching heartbreaking moment of your life where you will see them take their last breaths, you will feel helpless, hopeless and often question why this is happening but you will realize that it is inevitable and you will try to find comfort in every way possible. You will remember quotes from movies, shows and find your calm and accept it in your way, eventually.

This excerpt from Andrew Garfield always leaves a lump in my throat

4) You will realize that your parents are getting older

It wouldn't likely be a moment of realization but it will be subtle when you hear them venting about their muscular pains or the heaving of breaths after climbing a flight of stairs. You will also start seeing them not as parents but as entities or as an induvial, which will humanize them and make you think of their lives before you, their likes, dislikes and mistakes. Spend some time with them while you can.

5) You will be independent

You will likely be financially independent, if you don't have any financial commitments, you can get that dress, go on trips but eventually, you will learn to save and invest. Have your fun but be fiscally responsible.

6) You are responsible for the decisions you make

This is both scary and relieving. Your life is yours now to carve, your mistake will be your mistakes, your regrets will be yours. It will be imperfect, roughly cut out at the edges but it is yours to make.

7) The road ahead may seem blurry

All this time, you were so sure of yourself, of the next step, but you're on your own now. The road ahead may be covered with fog, be steep. Just take a deep breath, believe in yourself and take it one step at a time

8) There will be days when you will miss the simpler times

If you haven't thought about your childhood and just how easy things were, you're lying. But then you come across something on the internet that you're in your prime years and you can take all the trips you want, go to that concert and walk by yourself, you'll be okay.

9) It's time to learn important life skills

Taxes, cooking, investments it all just starts to get real, pick up one thing and start.

10) You will plausibly rediscover your roots, indulge in your culture and not follow the herd on what's cool

After the whole phase of "I'm going to listen to this, because it's in right now" is over, you will see that you've been sitting on gold until now, all the songs you listened to as a child, all the things you hated, the clothes you hid away in the closet because they were "uncool". You will fall in love with them again because they evoke memories and they hold meaning.

11)  Finding the balance will be tricky

You will either eat out four days in a row or not even step out of the house for a week. Finding the right balance and the ideal routine will be tricky and you won't tick all the boxes everyday, but keep on trying, we're all trying to find the balance

12) You will see people live your dreams and achieve things you'd dreamt of and you'll question your self worth

Thanks to social media, we have no real sense of what is going on in people's lives and it's easy to compare someone's good days to your bad ones but it just isn't fair. Put in your work and just breathe deeply and believe in "apna time aayega" or your time will come.

13) You will have your idea of "cool" now

After unlearning the societal idea of cool, and a lot of self exploration and discovery you are definitely one step closer to figuring out your idea of cool. 

14) You will feel like you're running out of time

The paradox of there's so much time and not enough time always baffles me. Should I live like there's no tomorrow or should I take it one day a time? I guess it's safe to say that it depends on the situation but if you ever feel like you're running out of time because you see teen billionaires on the internet, appreciate their hustle, but remember that everyone has their own timeline.

15) You will find comfort in the places where you least expect it

You will find your calm  by lighting candles in your room, or talking to an estranged friend or movies that will leave a lump in your thoughts or scenes which will elicit core memories you never realized were something you'd look back on. Cherish these moments. This is what makes you, you.

16)  Being disciplined and consistent is tougher than you think

Having had multiple changes in my routine, I find it almost impossible to stay consistent with a habit. Motivation is overrated. Showing up everyday is what works, no matter the day, no matter what you're feeling. Failure and giving up are part of the process but one day, you will see the other end of the tunnel and it is brighter than you can imagine.

17) The feeling of monotony and ennui will creep up every once in a while, it should. It will infact force you to get out of the rut

It is inevitable to feel like you're living the same days over and over. Sometimes luckily you will be able to take a break and find your escape, when you can't even changing the flavor of your tea will make your day slightly better.

18) You can't force things to happen at a certain time, they will happen when they're supposed to

You can put in all the effort in finding the right puzzle piece but if it's not meant to be placed there, you can't force it. Put in your work and it will pay off, maybe not in the way you'd expect, but it does. It always does.

19) Grief and love can coexist

I won't explain this further. I leave it at this for you to chew and digest this one.

20) You will learn to love your self better and accept yourself each passing day

I'm going to cut the crap on love your stretch marks and acne by showing it off on a reel but I'll tell you this, you might loathe it one day, but you will dislike it the next and unbothered the next and eventually you'll accept it and as time passes see it as a part of yourself and love it.

21)  The world is bigger than yourself

I cannot emphasize on this enough. It may be consuming to think of your challenges, plans all day but every once in a while it helps thinking that you're on a rotating rock with 8 billion other people with 16 other billion challenges so you might as well be kind, acknowledge your privilege and be generous for a brief while that you're here.

That's all for now.